Peacocks strut their stuff, and attract mates with their flashy, showy plumage.

Men can do the same thing. There are some schools of thought that say you should wear loud outrageous clothing and/or accessories when you go out to meet women, that it shows confidence and is attractive.

Here’s a couple things to keep in mind about this:

In theory, peacocking gear gives the girl a reason to open you. If you are wearing a funky this-or-that and a girl wants to talk to you, she can comment on it and safely open you. That’s one approach to this. In this case, find something that works for you. I wear a leather jacket with metal studs on the lapel, girls open me by commenting on it or touching it a lot. Same thing when I used to wear a steel chain as a necklace with a padlock (R.I.P. Sid Vicious). If this is the angle you are going for, find somethign that fits you, and who you are. I can wear that shit because I was a punk rock muthufucka back in the day.

The other thing to keep in mind, peacocking is mean to show confidence by wearing loud, flashy clothing. The wilder and louder, the more confidence and social savvy you have to have. One time I saw a guy wearing big old aviator shades and a loud tie in a club, and he was just resting against the wall, trying to look hardcore. In reality, he looked like someone that was trying to dress up for the night, but couldn’t really pull it off. When you wear loud, flashy clothing, people will expect you to be just as loud and social of a guy. If you’re not, it’s incongruent, and end up looking like a tool. This is just another thing to keep in mind. Your peacocking has to match your social gregariousness.

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Yup.  All that flirting?  Worthless.  No value.  It means nothing.

I haven’t lost my mind, and flirting is still fun and effective.

I hear stuff like this from men a lot:

“If I go talk to her and flirt with her she will know I like her”.

“How can I flirt with a girl if I don’t really know her?  I don’t know if I like her?”

“If I tell her she is cute she has to decide right then if she likes me”.

For a man, just seeing a woman is enough for us to like her, or at least be interested in her.  This can get blown way out of proportion, so we feel like we are committing ourselfs to this woman, just for talking to her.  It’s as if we are putting everythign on the line and stating how much we are interested that something work out between us and this woman.  It can get so blown out of proportion that for a lot of men, they think flirting is tantamount to professing your love for a girl (yes, a bit of hyperbole).

The thing is, though, it’s not.

Flirting means none of these things.  There is absolutely no committment that goes along with flirting.  It is fun, and sexy, and interesting, and may spark interest, but in no way does this mean anything about your relationship with this woman.  After a man and a woman flirt with each other, there is absolutely no commitment or expectation.

If you flirt with a girl, there is no risk.

You see, what flirting really is is just a fun conversation, with some hints of romance or sexiness.  The key word here is fun.  The fun that you have when you are flirting doesn’t mean that you have to do anything after you have that fun, or that there will be any expectations based on that fun.

In practical terms, this means that you can flirt with the girl in front of you in line at the grocery store, on the bus or subway, or next to you in a bar, and not worry about it.  Let it be what it is, which isn’t much.

Now I’m not saying that this doesn’t mean it won’t ever go anywhere, if you start flirting with a woman, you can continue to get to know here, and move things along.  That’s where the flirting leads, in general.  The flirting itself though, does not lead to these things.  It is just a fun way to interact witha a woman.

You should never let any fear of what it might mean if you flirt with a woman to stop you from doing it.

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Last night I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. She told me that she was talking about me to some of her friends at work. She was telling them that over the weekend she was reminded that I still, after almost a year of dating, make sure that I flirt with her.

This is no accident.

We have all seen that boring couple. They don’t smile a lot, they don’t seem to be happy when they are together. They are together because of habit more than anything else. They look horribly bored.

We’ve also seen that annoying couple. You know the ones. They are the ones that laugh with each other, and they have their hands all over each other. They make us sick, because they are enjoying themselves so much.

The only difference between these two couples is that the second couple never stopped flirting with each other. They never stopped poking at each other, teasing each other, and playing. Flirting is such an easy thing to do, and it is fun for everyone involved. Almost nobody does this though. I think a lot of guys just don’t know how.

Do you know how to flirt with your girlfriend? If you are scratching your head, you need to listen to the CD on banter in the Surefire Attraction Secrets program. Flirting and banter isn’t just a skill that makes it easier to meet women. It will make your entire life better. Whether you have known a woman for 1 minute, 1 day, 1 month, 1 year, or 1 decade, you need to know how to flirt and banter. This is what puts the spice into a relationship. This is what keeps a relationship fun and exciting. This is what will keep your girlfriend happy.

And guess what. A woman that you keep happy, is going to keep you happy.

Learn this, and it will make your relationships work.

Take a look at it now.

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The first part of this episode consisted of women showing off their lingerie.

What more do I have to say?  This part was good.

The challenge, to bounce a girl to another venue, was just kind of so so.

I love how clueless Pradeep is.  He exhibited this over and over, and it finally caught up with him.

I really wasn’t too excited by this episode, if you can’t tell by how little I wrote here.

Except for the lingerie, that is.

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Congress has declared September 2007 to be National Bourbon Heritage Month.

The cool thing is, I have been celebrating, and I didn’t even know it.

I am a bit of a bourbon fan, and love a good bourbon on the rocks.

Next time you are out, order a manhatten, or a bourbon on the rocks.  Celebrate with pride.

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Yes.

No.

Maybe.

There is tons of advice on this that floats around our information heavy day and age. I heard someone mention the advice that Tom Leykis gives, to not buy anything for a woman. He says that we are just perpetuating a culture of women that think they should have everything handed to them on a silver platter.

A lot of guys listen. They can see the points that he makes, and feel that they shouldn’t pay for a woman on a date. It’s time to show women that they can’t just take you for a ride.

I disagree, and follow the general rule that if I invite a girl out, I expect to pay.

Maybe you don’t think you should pay for a woman on a date. Now, you can keep on not paying for dates, that’s fine.

Realize that you are going to lose girls that you otherwise wouldn’t have by doing this. I did it too. My head was full of thoughts like “don’t ever pay for women” when I started to learn how to be better with women. And I lost girls that I other wise wouldn’t have. It comes with the territory, so be aware of that. It may be unfortunate, but screaming at a wall won’t make the wall go away.

The thing to realize though, is that spending money during a date for a girl, whether it’s a $3 ice cream cone, or a $10 sandwich, isn’t that big a deal. Objectively, I mean. Even if you are making minimum wage, it still is only half hour to a couple hours of work. In the grand scheme of things, and purely from an objective point of view, there is no big deal with this.

There’s something else going on here with guys that think this. Something that makes spending money on a woman seem like a bad idea. Now, there are way too many men in the world who are sad, hurt, and frustrated because of women. There are way too many men that feel like they can’t get the happiness they want with women. I was this way for years. It didn’t feel good. I felt powerless to get the thing I needed most.

I haven’t listened to very many of the shows that promote this attitude towards women and dating. That is mainly because when I have listened to them, I thought they were total garbage. What they do is give men a way to take all the pain, sadness and frustration they feel, and replace it with anger. It works well for them, because anger is much easier to live with than pain and sadness.

There is another way though, and it is often a bit more difficult. It takes a lot of work, and sometimes requires that men revisit the pain that they have because of their relations and interactions with women so far in their life.

When a man chooses this other way, he takes the pain, sadness, and frustration that he has had, and replaces it with fun, excitement, and happiness as he moves forward. It is a bit harder, but in my experience, it is far better. This is the way that we teach at PickUp 101.

The first step is to learn how to make a woman happy. Check out the program, Everything You Know About Women Is Wrong. It is a great place to start to make the changes, and follow the path to a happier life.

Click here now to find out more.

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The difference that following this rule makes is huge.  It is the difference between things starting well, and starting poorly.  It is the difference between things continuing well, and continuing poorly.

(You maybe wondering what the first rule of meeting women is - I’ll get to that)

This rule refers to such a simple thing.  You may think this is basic advice, or you may think that it is obvious.  The thing is, I don’t see every man following this rule when they approach a woman, and that is just wrong.  There is no reason not to follow this rule, because it is so easy to follow.

The second rule of meeting women is: Smile.

Yeah, that really is it.  Smile when you approach her, smile when you start talking to her.  I don’t want this to be a big goofy fake smile, but the kind of smile that is on your face after you have laughed about something with a friend.

This may seem so basic to the point of stupidity, but I still see tons of guys approach girls and not have a smile on their face.  Check yourself next time you are approaching a woman.  Are you smiling?  If not, stop, think of something funny, get a smile on your face, then proceed.

If there is any question about this, I will just answer it with a couple questions back.  Do you want a happy girlfriend?  Do you think a happy girlfriend wants a happy boyfriend?

OK, now that you are smiling, you may be wondering what the first rule of meeting women is.  That one is easy: Breath.

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All right! Big fat Joe won the challenge!

This actually points out something really interesting. The challenge was to see who would seem the most comfortable wearing a speedo at a pool party with a bunch of hot women. Big Joe held court. What this points out is that you don’t have to be a body builder to have a lot of physical presence. Big guys like Joe (and me) can hold people’s attention be the alpha guy very easily because of their size.

The big lesson from this part is that the more comfortable you are with your body, the more attractive you will be. You’ve got what you’ve got, now flaunt it, and own it.

Pradeep exposed himself as the whiny, self absorbed, dillusional guy that he is. When they were announcing the winner of the pool part contest, Mystery said one guy clearly stood above the rest. While everyone else was saying, “definitely, it was Joe”, Pradeep was standign there raising his hands like it should have been him.

There’s just something off about the dude, and I think it is arrogance. It is unattractive, and not a good way to make people like you.

The daygame portion of the show at a coffee shop felt like a farce. It felt needlessly complicated, and just… off.

Maybe this is because I am comparing it with my own daygame workshop, the Art of Rapport. I was teaching it all weekend. Me and four of my coaches taught 7 guys how to approach women during the day, get numbers, and get dates. You know what, they were able to do it too. After an evening of exercises to learn how to build rapport, followed by a few hours the next morning practicing how to approach women during the day, they went out to Union Square, met tons of women, got their numbers, and so on and so on.

It wasn’t as complicated as it seemed on this show. Walk up, get her attention, make her laugh by flirting with her, then get to know her. It’s as easy as 1, 2, 3.

I’m sure that Mystery’s techniques work, or he wouldn’t be teaching them. It just seems to me that during the day, it really is so much easier than you may think.

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This post isn’t about flirting with women.  Only read this if you want to be better with women though.

This post is a result of two things.  The first is a offhand statement I made in this post.  I said something along the lines of, “you’re not playing all your cards when you approach in a direct, sincere way, unless you have a weak hand.” Well, this got me to thinking, “how do you improve your hand?”

The second thing that motivated this post is that my parents came to visit last weekend. My parents don’t come up to San Francisco too often, and it is really nice when they do. We drank some wine, ate a huge, filling calzone at Uncle Vito’s, and had breakfast in Union Square.

One thing that my dad and I talked about is finances and wealth. I am learning how to make money, and I am learning about wealth. I am not wealthy now, but someday, I hope to be.  I am working on it.

This is the point of this article.  The easiest way to improve your hand with women is to get other parts of your life together.  Specifically, your health and your wealth.

I am a firm believer in the “health, wealth, and relationships” motto.  These three things are the most important aspects of a man’s quality of life.  By far.

When I don’t have one of these three things handled, I feel less confident.  My hand isn’t as strong.  I am gonna go out on a limb and say that this is universal. To feel confident as a man, we need to have these three things under control.

Now, what it means to have these three things under control is different to everybody.  Wealth to one person may mean having a yacht, two lamborghini’s and a house in the hills.  Wealth to someone else may mean a cozy apartment and a job they like that gives them enough extra spending cash.

What is important with all of these three things, it isn’t important to be the most successful person in this area.  I am not trying to tell you to be a Donald Trump triathlete that dates Carmen Elektra.  What is important is that you have the level of health, wealth, and relationships that you want.

…Or that you are working towards them.

This next part is the tricky thing. It is the cool thing. The thing that we are oh, so lucky about.

Your confidence will skyrocket if you just start making changes.  If you are trying to improve your health, starting to do something, like jogging, or eating healthier, will make you feel more confident.  It will make you feel more confident because you are doing something to get this handled. You don’t have to be able to run a half marathon, but starting the process of getting healthier will make you feel more confident about yourself, especially as you start to see results.

It’s the same thing with women.  If you go and talk to a woman today, even if it doesn’t go that well, you will feel more confident about this area of your life because you did something about it.  The same thing goes for wealth.

What I am really trying to say here is to pay attention to these other things in your life other than your relations with women.  Getting them handled will improve your overall confidence.  You don’t have to completely solve the problem, but just starting to take action will itself make you feel more successful and confident.

It is important that you actually do something about it though.  Reading an exercise book doesn’t cut it, but going for a quick jog does.  Reading Start Late, Finish Rich doesn’t do anything about it, but finding a way to save a dollar or two every day does.  Reading my blog doesn’t do anything about it, but talking to a woman today does.

Improve your hand.  Give yourself pocket aces.

Now I’m gonna go for a jog.

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I was bored by this episode. Maybe it was because I was watching it on my iPod while stuck in traffic going over to my buddies house in the East Bay during rush hour, maybe it was just not as exciting as past episodes. This post is as proportionally short as I was excited about this episode.Neat. They got to kiss a girl. They did make a really good point though: Kissing Is Important.

I have gone out with girls because they were good kissers, and I have been turned off by girls that were bad kissers. It is a very important skill. Watch the episode to learn more, they actually did a pretty good job of teaching this. It was sexy and fun too.

I was dissappointed by the elimination. Scott was working really hard to learn this stuff, and he was showing some improvement. He was very eager, and really wanted it. Granted, he isn’t that socially savy, but he can learn that. I hope he continued on this path after the show was over.

I can see why they kept Pradeep (sp?), because he acts like a prick, and this creates drama, which makes the show more exciting, which means better ratings. Mystery made the right decision for the success of his show.

Sorry, Scott. You’ve got to be more dramatic. Your good nature and positive attitude won’t get you ahead in this world.

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