Comments on: Right Now! What Do You Want? http://blog.seandeacon.com/2007/01/right-now-what-do-you-want/ From the Handsome and Charming Mr. Deacon Sat, 21 Aug 2010 16:55:41 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Jordon http://blog.seandeacon.com/2007/01/right-now-what-do-you-want/comment-page-1/#comment-51 Jordon Sat, 03 Feb 2007 14:48:47 +0000 http://blog.seandeacon.com/2007/01/30/right-now-what-do-you-want/#comment-51 Agreed boys. It's difficult enough to balance the women in our lives, and make sure they're comfortable with the situation, let alone having to micro-manage our friends' issues with OUR lifestyle. I'm with David that, although it can be tough, it's often best to sever ties with negative people who aren't able to balance out their criticisms by adding value. -Jordon http://www.pickuppodcast.com Agreed boys. It’s difficult enough to balance the women in our lives, and make sure they’re comfortable with the situation, let alone having to micro-manage our friends’ issues with OUR lifestyle. I’m with David that, although it can be tough, it’s often best to sever ties with negative people who aren’t able to balance out their criticisms by adding value.

-Jordon
http://www.pickuppodcast.com

]]> By: David Clare http://blog.seandeacon.com/2007/01/right-now-what-do-you-want/comment-page-1/#comment-52 David Clare Thu, 01 Feb 2007 00:56:30 +0000 http://blog.seandeacon.com/2007/01/30/right-now-what-do-you-want/#comment-52 P, One of the hardest things that I had to deal with is that not all of my friends will support my choice of relationships. The harshest one lately was one of my surfing buddies who dissed me really hard when I introduced him to one of my girls. He made her feel like I was just using her for sex, and our relationship never quite recovered from that. It didn't help that I was her first BF after a 12 yr relationship, but still, he had no call to make her feel that way during an otherwise lovely weekend. Especially as I was completely up front with her about my expectations in a relationship, before the relationship started. My lesson from that is when pursuing "non-standard" relationships, no matter how rewarding they are (and they are!), some people just refuse to recognize your right to live your life as you like. For me, these people screen themselves out of my life. My philosophy is live and let live... while anyone is free to criticize, I don't feel compelled to listen to them whine about it to my face. If they can't support me, then they aren't really my friends. Sean will have some good things to say about this. I might follow up myself. P,

One of the hardest things that I had to deal with is that not all of my friends will support my choice of relationships. The harshest one lately was one of my surfing buddies who dissed me really hard when I introduced him to one of my girls. He made her feel like I was just using her for sex, and our relationship never quite recovered from that. It didn’t help that I was her first BF after a 12 yr relationship, but still, he had no call to make her feel that way during an otherwise lovely weekend. Especially as I was completely up front with her about my expectations in a relationship, before the relationship started.

My lesson from that is when pursuing “non-standard” relationships, no matter how rewarding they are (and they are!), some people just refuse to recognize your right to live your life as you like. For me, these people screen themselves out of my life. My philosophy is live and let live… while anyone is free to criticize, I don’t feel compelled to listen to them whine about it to my face.

If they can’t support me, then they aren’t really my friends.

Sean will have some good things to say about this. I might follow up myself.

]]> By: sean http://blog.seandeacon.com/2007/01/right-now-what-do-you-want/comment-page-1/#comment-50 sean Wed, 31 Jan 2007 20:46:24 +0000 http://blog.seandeacon.com/2007/01/30/right-now-what-do-you-want/#comment-50 Great comment, P. What I was really getting at with my "forget about what other people think" comment is to not let what other people think might be best influence your decision of what YOU want. For example, I have been in communities where getting another notch on the belt is seen as an admirable goal. This can put a lot of pressure on a guy to act like a player and sleep around, when he might really want to have one nice girlfriend. Another example are people that think it is wrong to date more than one person. They might put pressure on you to settle down with someone when you really want to date a lot of people and learn about yourself and others. I know it is difficult to behave counter to that pressure. One thing that helps me is having a group of friends that are very supportive of whatever type of relationships I want in my life. I am sure not every one of my friends agrees with my relationship choices, and that is Ok. I know I have a whole other group of friends that are. I will probably write an upcoming post on this topic. Keep an eye out for it! Great comment, P. What I was really getting at with my “forget about what other people think” comment is to not let what other people think might be best influence your decision of what YOU want.

For example, I have been in communities where getting another notch on the belt is seen as an admirable goal. This can put a lot of pressure on a guy to act like a player and sleep around, when he might really want to have one nice girlfriend.

Another example are people that think it is wrong to date more than one person. They might put pressure on you to settle down with someone when you really want to date a lot of people and learn about yourself and others.

I know it is difficult to behave counter to that pressure. One thing that helps me is having a group of friends that are very supportive of whatever type of relationships I want in my life. I am sure not every one of my friends agrees with my relationship choices, and that is Ok. I know I have a whole other group of friends that are.

I will probably write an upcoming post on this topic. Keep an eye out for it!

]]> By: P http://blog.seandeacon.com/2007/01/right-now-what-do-you-want/comment-page-1/#comment-49 P Wed, 31 Jan 2007 20:32:44 +0000 http://blog.seandeacon.com/2007/01/30/right-now-what-do-you-want/#comment-49 That was a good post. I don't disagree that you should forget about what other people think, but it is hard to maintain friendships with people who are judging you on this and telling you to do something else. I'm a girl and my current friends are important to me. The other alternative seems to be to lie to them, which isn't a great solution either. That was a good post. I don’t disagree that you should forget about what other people think, but it is hard to maintain friendships with people who are judging you on this and telling you to do something else. I’m a girl and my current friends are important to me. The other alternative seems to be to lie to them, which isn’t a great solution either.

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