Yup.  All that flirting?  Worthless.  No value.  It means nothing.

I haven’t lost my mind, and flirting is still fun and effective.

I hear stuff like this from men a lot:

“If I go talk to her and flirt with her she will know I like her”.

“How can I flirt with a girl if I don’t really know her?  I don’t know if I like her?”

“If I tell her she is cute she has to decide right then if she likes me”.

For a man, just seeing a woman is enough for us to like her, or at least be interested in her.  This can get blown way out of proportion, so we feel like we are committing ourselfs to this woman, just for talking to her.  It’s as if we are putting everythign on the line and stating how much we are interested that something work out between us and this woman.  It can get so blown out of proportion that for a lot of men, they think flirting is tantamount to professing your love for a girl (yes, a bit of hyperbole).

The thing is, though, it’s not.

Flirting means none of these things.  There is absolutely no committment that goes along with flirting.  It is fun, and sexy, and interesting, and may spark interest, but in no way does this mean anything about your relationship with this woman.  After a man and a woman flirt with each other, there is absolutely no commitment or expectation.

If you flirt with a girl, there is no risk.

You see, what flirting really is is just a fun conversation, with some hints of romance or sexiness.  The key word here is fun.  The fun that you have when you are flirting doesn’t mean that you have to do anything after you have that fun, or that there will be any expectations based on that fun.

In practical terms, this means that you can flirt with the girl in front of you in line at the grocery store, on the bus or subway, or next to you in a bar, and not worry about it.  Let it be what it is, which isn’t much.

Now I’m not saying that this doesn’t mean it won’t ever go anywhere, if you start flirting with a woman, you can continue to get to know here, and move things along.  That’s where the flirting leads, in general.  The flirting itself though, does not lead to these things.  It is just a fun way to interact witha a woman.

You should never let any fear of what it might mean if you flirt with a woman to stop you from doing it.