Comments on: Nice guys are manipulative bastards

By: Fringe

Fringe — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:04:27 +0000

I’m probably coming in here with a way different perspective but what I think the guy was doing wasn’t really that bad. He wasn’t mentally or physically harming anybody in the process. He’s probably young, too and it’s a perfectly understandable attitude for a young guy to have.

I would object to this if he forced the issue but if he took the hint early and left, it’s no big deal.

I mean come on. Who’s going to pay a $100 tab out of the kindess of their own heart? I would only do that if I had the money and wanted to donate to a charity I truly believe in…but not a damn drink tab.

By: Martin Hewitt

Martin Hewitt — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 12:29:58 +0000

I don’t think any gesture of true kindness should be done in expectation of “something in return” but I think there is a gray area beween the manipulative “nice” guy and the guy who gets it right (for the moment ignoring the third way of being an outright jerk). There is the guy who has genuine intentions but has a poor grasp of how to go about it. Being overly generous to think someone may come around is stupid, but it is not necessarily being a manipulative prick. Such guys needs to vbe told (in which case blogs like this are excellent) but equally so, any woman who knowingly takes advantage is a bigger prick.
Also if any girl or guy likes someone then trying to “woo” them by including thoughfulness isn’t a bad idea and it’s human to do this in hope of reciprocation but never the expectation of it! It’s only negative when the giver gets resentful that the other person doesn’t do exactaly what they expected. We don’t “choose” who we fall in love with, it either is or it ain’t!

By: nice guy

nice guy — Mon, 30 May 2011 03:12:06 +0000

Girls can usually tell when a guy is interested, whether he’s being nice or not. If the guy at the bar was being pushy, then he wasn’t being a nice guy. And plus, it should be pretty obvious most guys at a bar are just trying to get laid.

By: The Beans

The Beans — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 22:16:23 +0000

Hahaha…Yeah insinuating yourself and repeatedly attempting to foist money on a woman who has turned it down is the “gentlemanly” thing to do. Right. If you missed it, they turned his offer down repeatedly, probably because they felt uncomfortable at the insinuation.

Guys at bars basically wag their wangs at a girl until something sticks, and this includes throwing money around. It’s all part of the same thing, and it’s pretty fucking ridiculous.

By: Me

Me — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 01:54:35 +0000

I don’t agree with this article. What kind of stupid woman think that a guy will just blow $100 expecting nothing especially when the environment is a Bar. Give the guy a credit how at least he respects the gentleman way of getting a girl, first get to know them, pay for their drinks, then check out see how things go. It’s a sign of interest, it’s the girls in the article who are not nice. You shouldn’t accept anything from anyone if you don’t plan on returning, give and take. You might as well say any guy who are trying to pursue the love of their life is not nice.

By: (sic)ko

(sic)ko — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 08:29:30 +0000

huge difference between being nice, and being respectful.
this statement reaches far beyond the world of dating.

By: Sean Deacon

Sean Deacon — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 23:25:35 +0000

Well, my view is that if a man doesn’t know pretty early on that the woman likes him, then he is doing something wrong. I certainly think that we should be kind, but niceness for the sake of getting in exchange for being nice is a dangerous path.
Sean Deacon´s last blog post ..Touch Is Communication

By: Ben

Ben — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 23:11:13 +0000

If a guy likes a girl, of course he is going to be on his best behavior. So whether, he gets mutual feelings or not is beside the point. He is hoping that she feels the same way, but if she doesn’t, then he will feel free to move on. A girl should let a guy know as soon as possible whether she is interested, or just likes one as a friend, or wants him to go away. It is never wrong to be nice. We need more kindness in the world.

By: Sean Deacon

Sean Deacon — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 19:04:08 +0000

Good point. When the niceness is a facade that a man puts on around women he wants, he’s being a dick.

By: T. AKA Ricky Raw

T. AKA Ricky Raw — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 18:59:58 +0000

I’d add that the nice guy who is mean to guys who can’t help him or demeans girls who are fat or ugly but is only nice to women he finds hot is another guy who is not really nice. There are so many guys who are dicks to everyone except the hot girl they want then go around lamenting how nice guys finish last when she doesn’t want him.