Sean Deacon

We were in the back room of the Matrix with a couple other friends, and two girls walk around the corner.

“There you are, we’ve been waiting all night for you guys,” I say to them as soon as I see them.

Ben doesn’t skip a beat, “Yeah, where have you been?”

He pulls one over to him, and I pull one over to me, and we start bantering and flirting with them. Standard protocol.

Eventually the girls left, we had a half hour of fun with them, then they went off on their merry way. Neither Ben nor I were particularly interested in these girls, we were just having a good ol’ time.

End Interlude.

So I told Shawn about what happened earlier when I was hanging out with Ben. There was no anxiety or nervousness because there was no actual approach. We were having fun, and they were there. Of course I said something to them.

When you are out in a bar or a club, there are always women around you to talk to and flirt with.

The way to not get anxious and nervous when you approach is to not approach in the traditional sense at all. Don’t stand there, think about how you want to approach her, then approach her. This is going to make you nervous as can be.

Approaching should be a lot more spontaneous when you are out at a bar or a club. If you are having fun yourself, this is going to make your interactions go all the more better. When you approach spontaneously, there won’t be a chance for your fun to turn into nervousness.

If you’re gonna go to bars and clubs to meet women, make sure you are having fun first.

Now go meet some women!

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If you are wondering what to say, or how to start interactions like this with women, check out the Art of Attraction workshop. We spend two and a half days learning exactly this, part of which is spent out in bars and clubs. In fact, if you take the workshop in San Francisco, chances are you will go to the very bar that all of the above took place at, and talk to some gorgeous women too..

CLICK HERE to find out more info.

Then I noticed something. I had gotten my coffee, and I was waiting on the sidewalk next to the little coffee shop for my bagel. A lady who was waiting for her latte or whatever was sneaking glances over at me. Then another lady who was standing in line was shooting me glances. For a second I was thinking, “what is going on?”

Then I realized, “Oh, yeah. They like me.”

When you start acting more flirtatious with people, other people will notice. It carries over to other people. It effects the way you stand, hold yourself, walk and talk. Women notice, and it is attractive.

People will see that you have a little bit more lively attitude. They will see that you are having fun, and that you feel good. They will feel your smile.

Try it. Go flirt with the girl who gives you your coffee and watch how others notice.

Now knock that smile off your face.

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Approaching women and flirting with them in the middle of the day is just one of the things we teach in the three day long Daygame and the Art of Rapport workshop. It is three days on how to meet and connect with women in the situations you are in every day. Grocery shopping, at the bookstore, on the bus, and getting coffee. Check out more information.

So we were having a hang out night, just chatting and flirting with the occasional group of girls. We all go out so that K and I can smoke a cigarette, and he asks me and Walter, “so what do you do when a girl is on her phone?” We look over, and there is a cute asian girl on the phone 10 or 15 feet away from us. So we tell him.

He is reluctant to proceed withthe directions we gave him. She gets off the phone, and his oppurtunity is presenting itself. Still he doesn’t go. This is when I grabbed him, and literally pushed him into a conversation with her. She looks up, alarmed, staring at us. I tell her, “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to alarm you”, and I left to hang with Walter, leaving K to start a conversation. I leave as he is saying, “My friend wanted me to come tell you that…”

I found out after the fact that what he said was, “My friend wanted me to come tell you that you are really cute. Actually… it was ME that wanted to tell you that.” I imagine that this was just about the time that she errupted in smiles and giggles. They were talking for a few minutes when I saw the hands. You can twll a lot about how two people feel about each other by the way their hands touch. She high fived him, and their hands stayed together, and their fingers lingered across each other’s as their hands parted.

It was on.

At this time, Walter said something along the lines that he didn’t think it was going anywhere. I called BS, so we made a friendly bet. I bet Walter that he would get her phone number. Loser had to buy the other a drink next Wednesday. I’ll take that bet. I know what I saw. Besides, he was MY student. I believed in him.

After a few minutes of flirting, he came back. Without her number. I told him to get his @ss over there and GET HER NUMBER. He walked back over, flirted a little more, his phone is out…

He walks back to us five minutes later, and he is saying, “OK, I’ll call you…” as he is leaving. He got the number.

I got my drink.

Life is good.

As for me, yes, I flirted with the two cutest blondes I saw that night. Good wholesome fun :)

It is important to be ready to flirt with anyone, anytime, anywhere. When I know that I am ready to flirt with a girl at a moments notice, I feel on top of the world. Electrified.

This is a little anecdote from last week. I was talking to one of my coaching clients, and I challenged him to approach a girl everyday with with the simple as syrup, “you’re cute”. I told him I would do it the next day too, so I headed out on my lunch break ready to flirt with some lucky woman.

After walking around, getting lunch, then walking around some more, I was getting dissapointed, because I was really just not seeing any really cute women to flirt with.

Then I saw this adorable blonde in the Metreon. She was working at one of those little booths, selling a nail polish device or something. I walk up to her, she says, “Come here, I have something to show you”.

Immediately I replied, “You are way too cute to be selling me this. How about we just flirt together for the next few minutes?”

She giggled, I kept bantering, I vibed for a few minutes, but then she had to get back to work.

This interaction didn’t end up in a number, or a date, but that is OK. Flirting like that gets the blood flowing, gets your endorphins pumped, and makes you feel great.

Go out and flirt! Now!

For the one I am meeting tonight, the field report would look like this:

“There was a girl outside of the Fort Mason building where the AoR workshop was last weekend, so I started talking to her. We were hanging out for the next few hours, then I suggested a day2 and she gave me her contact info.”

For the one I am meeting on Friday, the field report would look like this:

“I was out with a bunch of friends for a pub crawl, and towards the end of the night I started talking to this one girl I hadn’t talked to yet, and she was cool, then I set up a day2 and got her number.”

The point here is that I don’t remember what I said, or what techniques I used, it just kind of flowed. This is the way it should be, and the way it is when all the things we teach in Art of Attraction and Art of Rapport become real behaviors, rather than just specific tactics.

Saturday at Medjool, I saw her on the second floor balcony. Her and her two friends. Perfect. I opened, my students came in, we all talked to the girls for a bit. I have a tendency to stick to banter and vibing when I am coaching, because I want to demonstrate the skills that the students are learning all weekend, not just let them see me quietly talking to a girl for 10 or 15 minutes. Oh, well. I still get a YES

Sunday in the workshop, the hottest women I saw all day were the three women that came to the workshop for girl practice, and they don’t count due to professionalism. NO.

Monday, I was incredibly worn out from the long weekend of workshop, and bringing a TON of energy to it, moreso than is natural for me to have. I didn’t see much, I can’t even remember who the hottest girl was. I get a NO.

My record for the first week is 3/7. 43%. Pathetic. Time to change that record this week.

So I was relaxing, eating my lunch.

And then she walked out of the next restaurant over. (more…)