Sean Deacon

Peacocks strut their stuff, and attract mates with their flashy, showy plumage.

The difference that following this rule makes is huge.  It is the difference between things starting well, and starting poorly.  It is the difference between things continuing well, and continuing poorly.

(You maybe wondering what the first rule of meeting women is - I’ll get to that)

This rule refers to such a simple thing.  You may think this is basic advice, or you may think that it is obvious.  The thing is, I don’t see every man following this rule when they approach a woman, and that is just wrong.  There is no reason not to follow this rule, because it is so easy to follow.

The second rule of meeting women is: Smile.

Yeah, that really is it.  Smile when you approach her, smile when you start talking to her.  I don’t want this to be a big goofy fake smile, but the kind of smile that is on your face after you have laughed about something with a friend.

This may seem so basic to the point of stupidity, but I still see tons of guys approach girls and not have a smile on their face.  Check yourself next time you are approaching a woman.  Are you smiling?  If not, stop, think of something funny, get a smile on your face, then proceed.

If there is any question about this, I will just answer it with a couple questions back.  Do you want a happy girlfriend?  Do you think a happy girlfriend wants a happy boyfriend?

OK, now that you are smiling, you may be wondering what the first rule of meeting women is.  That one is easy: Breath.

A fun way to approach and/or banter is to make a woman or group of women your bodyguard(s).

“Hey, are you guys the bouncers?”

“You are very intimidating”.

“These girls around here won’t stop grabbing my ass and flirting with me.  Can you guys help out?”

“This one is the best.  I know she’s got my back.”

Maybe you get the idea here.  This is particularly fun if you are a bigger guy.  It is always fun to make a smaller girl your bodyguard.  Make her show you her guns.  Show you which way to the  beach.  Grab her and hide behind her.  Make her protect you from her friends.

Go try this out and have some fun with women!

A Valentine’s Day nuts and bolts special.  How to smack a woman’s @ss.

With the flat of your hand and fingers, fingers together, maximizing the impact area by making contact with the entire palm and fingers at the same time.  Aim for the softest, roundest part.

Now have a good day!

Ha!  Just kidding.  There’s more.  There are two important things to remember about how a man smacks a girl’s ass.  The first is that you have to do it with zero hesitation, and do NOT wait for a reaction.  If you smack her ass then stare at her, waiting to see how she will respond, almost like you are waiting to see if she will be upset, you are dead in the water.  Smack and move on.

The second thing is to not give in when she gets upset or protests after you smack it.  She very well might get upset.  Do not give in.  Deny you did it, joke that it is really fun, or say something like, “awe, I love you too”.

The bonus third thing.  Sometimes if you joke about giving a girl a spanking, she will stick it out a little and kind of tease you with it.  You have to spank then.  It is required.

Happy Valentines’s day!

My second nuts and bolts post is about one of my favorite banter themes.  Breaking up.

At some point in the conversation, if she says something (anything), go for it.

“You know, it is over between us.  I’m SO sorry it had to come out here, tonight, in this bar of all places.  It’s… I know we’ve had some good times baby, but, well, it’s not you, it’s me.  I need YOU to be strong.  Find love again.  We’ll always have the good times… that wild night in Vegas… those times you did that thing I like so much…”

…

“Oh, baby, who am I kidding!  I could never quit you!”

Maybe you get the idea.  I always really ham it up when I do this.  I get really melodramatic, so it is CLEAR that this is a joke.  When it is working well, the girl will play along with the heart break, give her own reasons it is over, etc.

If you wanna get into it more, have some fun talkign about the wild adventures that “you have had over the years”, tell her you want to keep the cat, or whatever else you can think of that has to do with breaking up.  Two more words: makeup sex.

Go out and have fun with this one, and post your questions and thoughts as a comment!

Time to get back to basics.  This is nuts and bolts week.  Here’s my most often used opener:

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late.”

Innocent enough to be used with women during the day, fun enough to use at night.  It flows into banter really well too.  It has been field tested plenty of times.  The first time I used this opener was about a year and a half ago, with my good friend Eric.  We thought we had stumbled upon some wonderful secret, because it worked well, and worked well often.

Bang.  You broke the ice with this.  Now what?

Banter, you sexy man, banter!

“Traffic was really bad, and the boss kept me at the office really late to finish a TPS report.  He was threatening to break out the whip but then I snuck out.  Have you been waiting long?”

Often the girls will jump in and banter right back.  “Where have you been!  We told you to meet us here an HOUR ago!”

You can riff on how much they missed you, building the anticipation, the crazy stuff that happened on the way, the fun stuff you will do now that you are there, or just have a big play fight about it.

Have fun with this one.